1.
My mind thinks of you often, and I wish that it wouldn’t.
I began sharing my feelings, but you said you couldn’t.
You were my friend and my confidant, my safe place and more.
You said nothing, stayed silent, and walked out the door.
2.
What is friendship if it cannot weather a storm?
Rain, lightning, thunder, or some other form?
You had my trust, and I had yours, but in the end did not matter.
My feelings felt a threat to you, I’m left alone and shattered.
3.
I fell in love with you long ago, before I realized my preference.
I enjoyed your company, your smile, your intelligence.
I was initially intimidated, your mind so full of wisdom,
I felt inadequate, uncouth, and more than a little bit dumb.
Over time we became friends, and the trust between us grew.
I knew the codes to your building and once slept in your room.
There remained an awkward feeling, one I was loathe to name,
It kept me always off balance, yet when you called, I always came.
I felt fear when I sensed the meaning of my feelings for you,
So I pulled away slowly though not really wanting to.
There were moments of panic when I looked in your eyes,
And was carried away by the honesty, openness, so wise.
I turned away in the moments when I felt my lips longing,
At the thought of touching them to yours, at finally belonging
To another person’s heart, at mattering in their life,
And finally understood why love is worth the fight.
4.
A light grew within me at the thought of your hand,
Entwined with my own as we danced in the sand,
With the water splashing our feet as we ran through the waves,
I saw a glimpse of the future under the sun’s setting rays.
The warming inside me was scary and new,
Led to me taking the chance to ask to be with you.
Alas, in that moment, I crossed the friendship line,
And you fled without warning, and disappeared with no sign.
5.
I looked for you endlessly in all of the places,
I left messages twenty, with all mutual faces.
You left on the wind, with no notes or embraces,
Until I accepted you were gone from all of our spaces.
6.
It nearly destroyed me when I’d realized what you’d done,
Thrown our friendship away with no conversation.
Not a peep from you ever trying to make any amends,
Just silence and memories which left me upended.
Confusion abounded when I heard no goodbye,
As if our friendship meant nothing, and was instead full of lies.
I wished you had taken a moment, any one would do,
To talk with me honestly, for the friendship was mine too.
