I can see now
Why I've always felt awkward hugging other women.
It felt so good
And so shameful.
I can see now
Why I didn't have a genuine crush on a boy
Until I was fifteen;
Why my first big, earnest infatuation with a guy
Turned out to be with someone who was gay.
I can see now
What that dream about kissing a girl meant
When I was too young and afraid of myself
To admit it.
I can see now
The part of me that yearns
For female touch.
It's freeing to see with
Eyes wide open
But it was safer being blind.
