Five Poems, The Wrong Order by Ari Glass

Poem Number 1: The Wrong Order

They messed up my order,

I'm not a girl.

I must have someone else's body.

The fit is all wrong,

too tight and too loose,

too long and too short.

At church I wear this body that isn't mine and I smile like it is,

because that's what's expected of me.

Yet, I know that my Heavenly Parents love me as their child,

not as their daughter.

Poem Number 5:

The words are a pin prick in my skin,

in my heart.

If you are calling me she,

you don't know me

you only see my body.

She, she, she

and

I can start to feel myself bleed.

They, they, they

and

I can feel myself start to heal.

Poem Number 2: The Bathroom I Sit In

Who do you think you are

To tell me what I feel inside.

Because last I checked my brain wasn’t in my uterus

And last I checked my gender wasn’t in my ovaries.

But my gender sits within me

It isn’t defined by the bathrooms that I use

Or where I sit on Sundays.

I get to decide who I am

And I get to decide how I present.

Poem 3: Gender Soup

I know God doesn’t make mistakes,

But I think perhaps They read the recipe wrong.

You see, they gave me a female body,

But I’m not a female.

My recipe was supposed to be for a body

That was mostly void of gender,

But with a dash of masculine features

And a sprinkle of a feminine face.

I’m not a female,

I am a demi boy

A semi gender

A hemi girl.

An agender soup.

Inside this female body.

So I don’t know why God made me a female body,

Knowing that it wouldn’t taste right,

But They made me.

They made a demi boy

A semi gender

A hemi girl.

An agender soup.

Inside this female body.

Poem 4: Palm Stories

I can’t tell you about the future.

I have not seen it

And I can’t tell you about before,

Because I do not remember

But I can tell you that love is not dependent on gender.

I can’t tell you about the future,

Because you are yet to write it.

And I can’t tell you about before,

Because that is your story,

But I can tell you of love so tender.

A love so tender that they made you,

Made you trans

Made you intersex

Made you gender diverse

Made you to stand out,

To love out

To live out.